Raising Children or Eating Them

Ephesians 6:1-9

In the animal kingdom, parents often eat their young. Have you ever felt that way? OK, maybe a little extreme, but sometimes you feel a little extreme when it comes to parenting.

The Part We Miss - We understand the part where children are told to obey their parents. But in that sentence there is an implication we miss. Do you see it? Look at it and think for a moment. Give up? OK, here it is.

This letter called Ephesians, like the other letters of the New Testament, were written under God’s supervision by people like Paul. They were then sent where? They were sent to the local churches of Asia Minor - the area around modern day Turkey. These letters were then read to the congregation by the local pastor. Figured out where we are going? What this mysterious implication might be? Let’s keep going then.

This was the method of distributing God’s Word because there were no printing presses and individuals did not have a copy of the letters in their homes. So the church would receive it, read it, sometimes copy it, then send it on to the next church in line. Almost there - neither could most people in this day read. It would have been useless to have individual copies as a result. Therefore, and that is a huge therefore, to hear God’s love letter called the New Testament, where did the people have to go? Yep, to church. One more step.

Ephesians 6:1 was a command give to whom? Children. Where were the butts of these children planted when the Bible was read? In the church. If Paul is speaking directly to children in 6:1, where were these children? In church! So, the implication is two-fold: One, have your kids in church to hear God’s Word. Do you see that underlying implication? There is no substitute for this. Second, there is a place in the actual “big” church for kids. Do you think there is something important about the entire family gathering together for the reading of God’s Word? That seems to be how it was done in the New Testament days. I am not suggesting we do away with nurseries and children’s programs, but maybe, just maybe, there are times the church should gather entire families from little Billy Bob to PaPa Joe for the reading of God’s message. Why not have special occasion when everyone filled the auditorium and heard the Bible read? For get the noise of little ones - or should I say over look it. This is one family experience I see implied in Ephesians 6.

Now The Bible Study - 

CHILDREN - What’s the age limit? When does a child come out from under this command to obey their parents? Is it when they are teens? Is it at 21? Perhaps when they move out of the house? Maybe when they get married and have a family of their own. Honestly, any answer would be supposition. But may I throw an opinion at you? As long as your child is depending on you, then this command applies. As soon as they are independent of you and your wallet, then they are on their own.

I think you can actually prove this by understanding the culture in which this passage was originally written. Off spring actually lived at home until they were grown and married. That doesn’t mean the older children did not make any of their own decisions, they did. That’s a part of training.

OBEY YOUR PARENTS - Big question for parents - This command for children to obey their parents is most difficult on whom, children or parents? The answer is parents. Why is that? Because it takes a lot of gumption and consistency to see to it that your child knows you are in charge. They may throw fits and cry and try to intimidate you, but you better be up for the challenge and win. If you do not, you will have hell on earth.

How about a Greek word lesson? The word for obey is hupakouo. It carries the idea of one who is obedient to another because they are inferior. In the home, Dad and Mom are the superior in case you were wondering. Children are required to obey their parents. This is what God says.

Children must be trained to obey and that’s the parents job. The little nerds do not always want to line up with their rules, but that doesn’t give them a pass. God requires obedience. It is necessary for their spiritual and psychological health.

Colossians 3:20 says children are to obey their parents “in all things.” That doesn’t mean if your parents want you to violate God’s word, but otherwise obey.

HONOT YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER - This is more about ATTITUDE where obey is more about ACTION.  

Three motives for obedience:

1. Fear - if I don’t I’ll get a spanking.
2. Want - If I do this then I will get that.
3. Respect - this includes love and honor. This is real obedience. This is what all parents are after.

“Why did you do that son?” SOn says, “Because I just love you dad.” 

The word for honor in the original language is timao. It means to value, esteem highly, respect and regard. So the action is to obey. But the attitude that counts is respect and honor.

How big is this to God? So big that He attaches a promise of a long life to those who follow. Whenever I hear of a person living to their 80s and 90s and 100s I think they must have obeyed their parents.