What You Must Know About Your Teen
When they are worried about something it often comes out as irritability or anger. Don’t confuse this with an "attitude." When they cry it may be anger rather than sadness.
They do not want parents to be their friends. OK, be friends to an extent, but hopefully they have a set of friends.
They do NOT want their parents to be "cool." It's their turn to be cool not yours. Please do not show their friends your tattoos.
They do not want you to confide in them about your deeply personal issues. If you are angry at your spouse then work it out or confide in one of your own friends. Teens don't have the ability to solve adult problems.
Their lack of verbalizing they love you does not mean they do not.
They are also having a hard time with teen years, not just you.
When you criticize their friends, they take it personal and feel like you are criticizing them!
MINDS ARE NOT REALLY SET
Mindsets are an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms, an excuse. Your particular viewpoint is just that, a point of view you have from your particular view. Change your view point and you’ll see it differently. OK, let’s explain because this is big science.
Take the Bible as an example. How can you have four men writing the same story and all four tell it a little differently? We are talking about the four Gospels of course - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Each one had the privilege of telling the story of Jesus as he walked this dirt. Yet, the stories are different. Simple - the were looking from different angles - different points of view!
Here’s one from science. Let’s say a fly can buzz around about 5 miles an hour. Put the fly in a car going 55 miles an hour and tell me how fast he is flying now. Is he flying 5 miles an hour or 55? What’s the answer? Hold on for another question. Is there a definite answer to the fly by? Is this a fixed law? Answer to the last question is that this is not a fixed law or answer. The truth is that it depends on your point of view. Let me explain.
If you are inside of the car with the fly then he is buzzing his usual 5 miles an hour. Change you point of view from inside to outside the car and what’s the answer? Here you are standing on the curb and the car goes by at 55 miles an hour. Guess what? So does the fly...yes, he is flying by you at 55 miles an hour. He is moving the same speed as the car as he goes by. Some could argue he is flying by at 60 miles per hour. It all depends on your view point. Change your point of view and the answer changes. Yep, it’s all relative. Thank you Mr. Einstein for your theory, I get it now.
Now for the finale - the practical application. How many people say stupid things like, “This is just how I am.” Or, “I can’t see it differently than how I see it.” Wrong! Change the angle of your view and you’ll see it differently. Look from inside the car and you’ll see it differently than you did from the outside. This is a good thing by the way. You are not STUCK in you stinkin thinkin. Your mind is not set. You can change how you think. You can change thought patterns and habits. You can overcome that habit and trap. You can fill in those old ruts and create new ones.
