Humor/One Liners/Facts

Fun Bible Facts

 was written by about 40 men over a period of about 1600 years dating from 1500 BC to about 100 years after Christ. These men wrote this Scripture as they were given inspiration by God. (2 Timothy 3:16)

The first translation of the English Bible was initiated by John Wycliffe and completed by John Purvey in 1388.

 has since been translated in part or in whole into over 1200 languages and dialects.

 was divided into chapters by Stephen Langton in 1228. The Old Testament was divided into verses by R. Nathan in 1488 and the New Testament by Robert Stephanus in 1551.

The entire Bible divided into chapters and verses first appeared in the Geneva Bible of 1560.

Today  is the largest seller of all books published.

 TEN FACTS ABOUT NEGATIVITY

1. Negativity is not the results of circumstance, rather your reaction to circumstances.

2. Negativity is an attitude you choose.

3. Negativity is like chicken pox, it's catching.

4. It is easy to become negative.

5. It is easy to justify negativity.

6. You do not have to catch negativity...someone throws you a knife don't catch it.

7. Negative people do not succeed.

8. Negative people like their negativity.

9. Negativity provides excuses for doing nothing, failure, and quitting.

10. Negative people hate talk about positive attitude.

TOP 10 LOOKED UP WORDS

1. Pretentious
2. Ubiquitous
3. Love
4. Cynical
5. Apathetic
6. Conundrum
7. Albeit
8. Ambiguous
9. Integrity
10. Affect/Effect

FRIENDSHIP

The reason dogs have so many friends is because they wag their tails and not their tongues.

A person who has a lot of friends either has a lot of money or is a good listener.

Friends are the only ones who ask how you are and then for the answer.

We will think and talk like the person we listen to the most.

Short visits make long friends.

A good neighbor is one who does not look down on you nor keeps up with you.

Friendship is a responsibility, not an opportunity.

Friends are those who speak to you after others don't.

The way to have friends is to be willing to lose some arguments.

Make friends before you need them.

The best vitamin for developing friends is B1.

PROCRASTINATION

Very few people are fast enough to keep up with all their good intentions.

The lazier the man, the more he plans for tomorrow.

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the year.

One of these days is usually none of these days.

The devil doesn’t care how much we do, as long as we don’t do it today.

If you put off till tomorrow what can be done today, someone may invent a machine to it.

Putting off tough jobs makes them harder.

Live as though every day were your last and some day you will be right.

THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION

Why do brides buy their wedding gowns but grooms rent theirs?

Is it true that mothers cry at weddings because daughters marry men like their fathers?

What part does God play in your life, spare tire or steering wheel?

Who would win in a fight - Captain Kirk or Captain Picard?

How could the 22nd and 24th Presidents have the same parents, but weren’t brothers?

Which is the correct answer?  “Honey, if you died I’d be extremely upset and would not remarry?” Or, “I’d go to Disneyland?”

Which is correct answer to wife’s question “is she prettier than me?” “No Honey, she is not prettier than you.” Or, “You have a better personality.”

That's Kinda Funny

I went to a restaurant the said, “order eggs anytime.” So I order eggs from the Renaissance.

Studies show that 100% of those who advocate abortion are people who have already been born.

I went to a ballet once.  I didn’t like. I couldn’t even tell who won.

I had a terrible childhood. I am probably the only guy in history who was bitten by the Tooth Fairy.

Why can’t women apply mascara with their mouths closed?

If a man washes a dish and no woman is around to see it, did it happen?

If we learn from mistakes then why am I not a genius?